he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
