community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
