If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
