You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
