i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
