Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
