dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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