Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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