you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
