If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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