Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
