thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
