ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
