this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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