pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
