at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize