This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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