the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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