Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
