but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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