new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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