singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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