So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
