There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
