he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
