Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I want her autograph on my taint
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
