walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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