thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
