Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
