The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
