it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
