wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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