I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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