dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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