Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
is that a dick in a sweater?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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