somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
