oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
