your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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