Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
