Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
