i may or may not be watching the land before time
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
