He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
