please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
