so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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