4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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