I want to stick my p in your. b.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
