Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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