whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
