I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
