Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
