I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
